Xmas Ideas for the One You Love (i.e., Me)

What I want: you know those Ichthus on the back of cars? And the ones that grew feet and say "Evolution"? And the ones eating the ones that say "Evolution" or "Darwin"? Yeah, so I want one of those where it just keeps recursing for as many times as will fit sensibly (and stylishly) on the back of my car so everyone who cares enough to work out the 39 reverses of the thing will crash into the back of my car and I can sue a bunch of people for whiplash and then take a vacation.

Don't try to rip me off and just give me the vacation either. That's shitty. Two items of note here:

Firstly, if you tell me you don't believe in evolution, I silently cross you off my "Has a brain stem" list, but rather than be a zealot on the other side, I will defend to the death my right not to care one way or the other. Whether I am descended from monkey-humping mud peoples or the Incestuous Adam and Eve of Eden, my mortgage company doesn't seem to care. (And BTW, Countrywide, fuck you).

Second, while I am fascinated with recursion, I am sensible enough not to have pointed out to our neighbor on the corner an even number of "Never" winds up negating what you're saying, so her bumper sticker encouraging me to "Never Never Never Never Shake a Baby" technically suggests I will have missed out on an experience were I to go to the grave without giving a little kid The James Bond Fancy Martini Treatment.